“you have friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Beautiful!
This so resonates with me. Yet, I’m such a loner, I don’t know if I could actually be lifetime friend material or I haven’t met yet, a person that can deal with my wanting to be alone. And that’s a whole other conversation that I’m not ready to share. 😂
Thank you for writing about this. I’ve had what I thought were super strong friendships in the past but things are different now. It’s been painful and it helps to know I’m not alone.
My longest, lifetime friendship died with the rise of MAGA and the orange man. 60 years of relationship down the tubes. I’ve been grieving since January 6th. Trying to find some new friends at my age is such a challenge.
My younger sister passed away last year. I was always envious of her friendships that she had that were lifelong. She traveled extensively with three of them. She knew them since she was a young woman. They were her extended family. Her chosen family.
When she was dying, she didn’t wanna see me or her other sister. She only wanted to see them. It was hurtful, but understandable.
I do have a friend like that, but not near the closeness that they had.
I’ve been in touch with them a lot, and they have been my stability with my grief.
Woah, This resonated so deeply. Friendships matter so much to me but I have realized recently that many of these relationships were codependent and I threw myself, too much of myself into relationships where the person had no capacity or interest to meet me vaguely in some space kinda close to the middle (or somewhere where you can see that middle ground). Finding peace with the sturdy relationships with folks who are able to speak with authenticity and boundaries and grow and connect are the exception... so that's solemn but still true, so I'll take that. I'm fond of your mom's saying and have have to rely on it myself in the processing of friendships ending (for good and hard reasons) and changing, but again, it can be solemn work.
Oh my, can I relate!! I'm struggling right now with who I really thought was my BFF. But in January she told me via text that she didn't know if she was the friend I needed because of the things I was posting on social media. She's very MAGA and I'm very much not. It's always been so, and we've never let it be an issue, but out of the blue, it is.
We were both raised in the church, same denomination, same type of parents, similar young adult lives, etc. Have been friends for 25+years. When I got her text, I felt worse than when I got divorced.
She lives 10 hours away, but comes back to the area several times a year to visit family, and me. We got together this week, and had a conversation, talked things out, but it's not the same. So, I know. And making friends as an adult is HARD. Hugs to you.
Every word. Had this conversation with friend, turned roomate who is now living miles away. Rebuilding an authentic, genuine connections, ideally right around the corner is challenging . several years of the past 5 I worked in healthcare, isolated and bandwith low. Longtime friends moved away. I learned I'm the "im fine" girl...likely for much of my life.
I feel a novel could be written on this. Each word resonates, today and indeed you are not alone in feeling this this way. Thank you for putting into words, what is a combo pack of tossed around words for me at the moment.
“you have friends for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.” Beautiful!
This so resonates with me. Yet, I’m such a loner, I don’t know if I could actually be lifetime friend material or I haven’t met yet, a person that can deal with my wanting to be alone. And that’s a whole other conversation that I’m not ready to share. 😂
I definitely feel this. I’m looking forward to getting to chat with you…maybe (hopefully) it will spark this sort of friendship.
Im so excited to talk with you xoxo
Thank you for writing about this. I’ve had what I thought were super strong friendships in the past but things are different now. It’s been painful and it helps to know I’m not alone.
Im really glad this resonate with you. Sometimes hearing other people are going through the same thing definitely helps.
My longest, lifetime friendship died with the rise of MAGA and the orange man. 60 years of relationship down the tubes. I’ve been grieving since January 6th. Trying to find some new friends at my age is such a challenge.
I know a lot of people in this position and I’m so sorry.
Thank you Malynda
My younger sister passed away last year. I was always envious of her friendships that she had that were lifelong. She traveled extensively with three of them. She knew them since she was a young woman. They were her extended family. Her chosen family.
When she was dying, she didn’t wanna see me or her other sister. She only wanted to see them. It was hurtful, but understandable.
I do have a friend like that, but not near the closeness that they had.
I’ve been in touch with them a lot, and they have been my stability with my grief.
They have now become my sisters
Woah, This resonated so deeply. Friendships matter so much to me but I have realized recently that many of these relationships were codependent and I threw myself, too much of myself into relationships where the person had no capacity or interest to meet me vaguely in some space kinda close to the middle (or somewhere where you can see that middle ground). Finding peace with the sturdy relationships with folks who are able to speak with authenticity and boundaries and grow and connect are the exception... so that's solemn but still true, so I'll take that. I'm fond of your mom's saying and have have to rely on it myself in the processing of friendships ending (for good and hard reasons) and changing, but again, it can be solemn work.
Oh my, can I relate!! I'm struggling right now with who I really thought was my BFF. But in January she told me via text that she didn't know if she was the friend I needed because of the things I was posting on social media. She's very MAGA and I'm very much not. It's always been so, and we've never let it be an issue, but out of the blue, it is.
We were both raised in the church, same denomination, same type of parents, similar young adult lives, etc. Have been friends for 25+years. When I got her text, I felt worse than when I got divorced.
She lives 10 hours away, but comes back to the area several times a year to visit family, and me. We got together this week, and had a conversation, talked things out, but it's not the same. So, I know. And making friends as an adult is HARD. Hugs to you.
Every word. Had this conversation with friend, turned roomate who is now living miles away. Rebuilding an authentic, genuine connections, ideally right around the corner is challenging . several years of the past 5 I worked in healthcare, isolated and bandwith low. Longtime friends moved away. I learned I'm the "im fine" girl...likely for much of my life.
I feel a novel could be written on this. Each word resonates, today and indeed you are not alone in feeling this this way. Thank you for putting into words, what is a combo pack of tossed around words for me at the moment.
That hit me harder than I thought it would. Too many friends have passed through: reason, a season and a lifetime 🥰
Don’t hate me but I don’t get the reference…
GREY’S ANATOMY!
Greys Anatomy, season one