#WeNeedToTalk: The Oxygen Mask Isn’t an Excuse to Look Away

It's the opportunity to show up.

Photo by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash

I've been thinking a lot lately about the way people rationalize not caring about other people and how often we hear:

"Well, that doesn’t affect me, so I’m not going to worry about it."

It's becoming more and more common, because we are living in a world where survival forces us to focus on ourselves and ourselves only. But that sentiment has always seemed deeply flawed and unloving.

I’ve never been homeless, but I care deeply about the unhoused.
I’m not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, but I want them to be protected, loved, and treated with dignity.
I have healthcare, but I want everyone to be able to afford and access it.

There’s a long list of things that don’t personally affect me but I still want justice and access for others. That’s what love looks like. That’s what empathy asks of us.

Now, I do understand the message behind the metaphor: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. We can’t pour from an empty cup. We have to tend to our own healing, safety and boundaries before giving time and energy to others. But somewhere along the way, self-care got confused with self-centeredness and that is the problem. The kind of self-love that Jesus spoke of when he said “Love your neighbor as yourself” was never about individualism or apathy. It was about making sure you're whole enough to show up for others. It was about preparing yourself to serve, not excusing yourself from service.

Loving yourself shouldn’t be the end goal it should be the starting point.
When you truly know how to love yourself, you won’t ignore the pain of others.
You won’t need something to personally affect you before you show compassion.

Jesus never said “love your neighbor if it’s convenient.” He said love them as yourself.

So yes while it’s important to heal and rest and even set boundaries it’s still important to care and show up. Because having an oxygen mask isn’t an excuse to look away from others when they can’t breathe.

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