#WeNeedToTalk: Checking in
And why is matters.
Lately, I’ve been sitting with the reality of how disconnected we’ve become from one another. We live in a time when so many communities are hurting—Black people, queer and trans people, immigrants, the disabled community, women, Palestinians, Jewish people, and so many others whose lives are constantly politicized, debated, and dehumanized. And yet… it often feels like we’ve forgotten how to really check in.
So I want to ask:
When was the last time you checked in on someone whose identity or experience is different from your own—especially someone in a marginalized group that’s under attack?
Not in a performative, “just making sure I’m a good ally” kind of way. But in a real, honest, caring, human way. The kind of check-in that says: I wanted to see if you were doing ok.
And if that hasn’t happened or you can’t remember the last time, this isn’t about shame. It’s just an invitation to ask why.
Because I think many of us are realizing that we’ve become so conditioned to focus on our own survival, our own pain, our own community’s needs, that we forget others are fighting to be seen and supported too. And then we get frustrated—understandably—when people don’t show up for us. But maybe, if we’re honest, we haven’t shown up for them either.
We want solidarity. We want people to stand with us. But solidarity is not a one-way street. It’s not transactional. It’s relational. It’s built on mutual care and consistent presence.
So this is just a call-in. A moment to pause and reflect:
Where am I showing up? Who am I standing with? Who am I checking in on? And where might I be falling short—not because I don’t care, but because I’ve been too busy, too overwhelmed, too caught up in my own world?
That’s okay. We all do it. But we can choose differently.
We can remember that care is a practice. Solidarity is a practice. It’s something we cultivate. Day by day. Not perfectly. But intentionally.
So maybe today is a good day to reach out. To check in. To show up for someone else.
Not because it’s performative. But because it’s human.
Just checked in today on my sister‘s childhood best friend. She’s Jewish and I couldn’t help but think about her so I sent her a little message text and asked her how she’s doing. The fact that I did it though has to do with my mother‘s upbringing of me. I watched her… And basically took the things. I super admired about her and put them to work in my life a long time ago. Your advice here is spot on. When someone actually does this with me I’m blown away each time and it means so much.🥰